Setting Boundaries As A Writer | Why It's Important And How To Do It

Writing is the thing I'm most passionate about, but it's also something that tends to become relegated to the back burner amid the hustle and bustle of this thing called life.

And with the holiday season swiftly approaching, carving out the time for writing is especially important.

Sometimes, that means setting boundaries to protect that all-too-limited resource and your peace of mind.

If you're like a lot of writers out there, you might be an introverted people pleaser and might even hate conflict apart from those of your own making on the page (I'm right there with you), so setting those boundaries might be a little intimidating.

But, sometimes, you've got to bite the proverbial bullet. Here are a few reasons to maintain your boundaries as a writer, along with tips for doing so.

Why Setting Boundaries Is Essential

As much as anyone might wish, your book isn't going to write itself! It's a commitment to hard work that takes so much more time than you might expect. And if you don't protect that time, it can become harder to find it.

A lot of writers have to balance their creative goals with non-negotiables like their day jobs, childcare, and general human upkeep. That already limits how much time you have available to work on your writing—what you do have is often gnawed at by distractions.

Writing requires time and focus. It's so much harder to write when you're stressed (and that includes feeling stressed about making the time for writing). Boundaries preserve your peace of mind.

Even though writing something others see as a hobby we dabble in, it's likely something that you are serious about. And if you want others to take your writing seriously, you've got to take that initiative first.

That starts with setting boundaries. They don't have to be rigid, but they should be intentional.

Tip One: Create A Routine

I know I just said your boundaries don't have to be rigid. However, many writers find it easier to stay productive and maintain those boundaries if they adhere to a schedule.

Consider what your schedule already looks like and work with it. That might be getting up earlier to write in the morning or reserving a chunk of your day off for writing. Having this routine means it's easier to plan around your writing rather than squeezing it in.

Tip Two: Treat Your Writing Like A Job (Even If You're Not A Full-Time Writer)

This is another tip you'll sometimes hear in conversations about making the time for writing. It's another way to say "prioritize your writing because, if you don't, you won't write."

Even though I'm not in a position to quit my day job (and, honestly, don't see myself wanting to), there is merit to the idea of scheduling your writing like a meeting, putting it on your calendar and blocking out that time like mentioned above.

But it's not enough to schedule that time. You've also got to commit to it. Would your boss approve of your doom-scrolling when you should be working? I'm guessing not. And when you're scheduled for a certain shift, you're expected to be there.

So be your own boss. Hold yourself to those same standards. When you're on the writing clock, WRITE. Silence your phone (or tuck it away somewhere if you're worried about distractions but need to be reachable). Show up for your writing "shift" as planned. Settle in. Get writing.

Tip Three: Designate A Writing Space

It doesn't have to be an entire room. A lot of writers write at their kitchen table or at a desk in the corner of their bedroom—or even on the go! But having a space dedicated to your writing, no matter how small, creates a physical boundary for your writing.

Having a dedicated writing spot creates a physical boundary that can be particularly helpful in shared living spaces, but it's also good for solo writers, too. If you're dilligent in using that area primarily for writing, it can become a signal to your brain that it's time to focus, making it easier to get in the zone; if you're working at a the aforementioned kitchen table or similar, multipurpose space, try incorporating accents like a specific candle scent or lighting that are used only during your writing sessions for a similar effect.

In terms of writing on the go, that designated writing space might be the same place or a rotation of spots. In my case, it's mainly the break area of my day job or the food court of the casino I work in, but I've got a few other nooks and crannies where I've been known to "set up shop." You might have a local library or coffee shop near you that can become your designated writing space (just be sure you're staying safe!).

You don't have to make any major investments or renovations or create a space that's aesthetically pleasing. As long as it's a space that allows you to focus and thrive, that's all that matters.

And if you want a few tips for creating a cozy writing space, this is the post for you!

Tip Four: Make Use Of Visual Cues

Speaking of shared living spaces, visual cues can help create physical boundaries and keep you from being interrupted.

These don't have to be complicated or flashing neon signs. There's the classic Do Not Disturb sign hung on a closed door, which can add a personal touch depending on the sign you get. I'll sometimes have my headphones on when I'm writing on the go, but without music playing so I can still hear my surroundings. You could also opt for a cardigan or a fun hat.

While these are subtle, they're solid reminders of your need to focus on your writing.

Tip Five: Protecting Your Peace Of Mind

Having boundaries as a writer isn't just about your physical space or preserving the time to work on your book. You also need to protect your peace of mind.

This looks different for every writer. It's things like muting notifications and not checking your day job inbox when you're not on the clock. Some writers might take a break from social media when starting on a new project to keep their minds from getting cluttered. Others might avoid reading reviews about their published works.

If it's going to have a negative impact on your mental health, it's going to impact your ability to write; that isn't to say writing itself doesn't come with its own stressors—believe me, it does—but lessening external stressors where possible goes a long way.

The quieter your mind, the louder your muse can become.

Tip Six: Communicate Your Boundaries With Confidence (And Without Guilt)

Easier said than done, right?

Especially early on in your writing journey, when you're working on your very first draft of your first-ever book, setting those boundaries can be hard. You'll possibly run into people who see it as a phase or a new hobby you've taken up and won't take it seriously. Or because it's not a career with a lucrative income (yet).

Setting those boundaries is the first step in your writing being taken seriously by others. People won't know unless you tell them.

Boundaries don't have to be walls that shut people out. Think of them more like a fence around a garden. You can invite people in, and they can observe your writing as it blossoms into a fully-fledged manuscript, but it protects your writing from interferences the same way a fence keeps deer from feasting upon your plants.

They're necessary, so don't feel guilty for setting them. A gardener doesn't feel guilty for protecting their crops from nibbling critters, so don't feel guilty for setting boundaries to protect your writing.

Tip Seven: Know What You Can And Cannot Control

One of the hardest parts about setting boundaries and finding a routine is working around chaos.

There are things that you can control. You can determine your availability for outings with friends or whether or not you hit the NEXT EPISODE button.

But you don't necessarily have control over things like your day job schedule or what openings your doctor has, beyond saying you aren't able to work on Tuesdays or can't come in for an appointment on the seventeenth at 8:30 AM.

And you won't have the ability to determine when the curtains go up for your nephew's Nativity play or the date your cousin is getting married or when your appendix suddenly needs to be removed.

As you're working to create those boundaries for your writing, remember that things happen. There are times your writing has to come second.

When it does, don't beat yourself up over it.

Tip Eight: Know When To Not Say No

Setting those boundaries means making sacrifices and declining things. But you don't have to say no to everything. It's not healthy.

Know when to say no and when not to. Writing can still be your favorite thing. It just shouldn't be your only thing. Staying flexible enriches your writing. Go out for drinks with your friends. Attend your nephew's Nativity play.

Seek things that support your writing and your health. What sparks your curiosity? What brings you joy?

There is so much inspiration to be found in the world. But you have to go out and see it for yourself. If you're too rigid in your writing boundaries, you'll miss out on so much life.

Setting boundaries isn't something you'll find on the syllabus of an Intro to Writing class, but it's a skill every writer should develop. It can feel awkward or even selfish to carve out that time and space for your writing, but it's essential to maintaining that balance between your writing and everything else life has to throw at you.

As far as folks being accepting of your boundaries go, it's a mix. You'll find people who don't understand and don't care to. But, if you're fortunate, you'll find those who do get it and encourage you every step of the way. Or, you'll have people who don't know all of the ins and outs but support your writing nevertheless.

And, hey, if you don't have those folks in your life yet, don't be afraid to find community in the writing spaces on social media. It takes time, and it can be intimidating if you're an introvert, but it's worth putting yourself out there and cultivating your own corner of the internet that invites the support and energy you need as a writer.

How do you set boundaries as a writer? What boundaries are most important to you? Let me know in the comments below!