Folds, Phalluses, And Other Euphemisms In Romance | How To Choose The Right Ones For Your Writing

Hey, friends! As you may have gathered from the title of this post, we'll be talking about some mature topics and using adult language to do so.

Reader discretion is advised.

The romance genre has a reputation for turning up the heat and getting steamy. It goes as far back as the bodice rippers we all know and love, the ones with the bare-chested men and women with dresses unbuttoned and—gasp!—shoulders exposed, caught in a passionate embrace, and it's only endured with the rise of BookTok.

Although it seems the market is teeming with spicy romance, there are just as many sweet romances to be found. The exact degree the heat gets turned up to depends on the author but generally speaking, when characters are taking part in sexytimes, you're probably going to be talking about their naughty bits in some capacity.

As is true for any area of writing, word choice in sex scenes matters. I've read plenty of romances where the euphemism used took me right out of the moment because it was either too juvenile, too flowery, or too clinical for my liking.

And let's face it: sex scenes are quite possibly the worst to get thrown out of!

So in this post, let's explore euphemisms in romance, why they're used, and how to choose the best for your own writing.

Why Euphemisms?

Before we can look at how to decide which euphemisms to use, we first need to understand why they are used.

Euphemisms in romance help make sure that the tone of your writing stays consistent. Going from describing a character's summer-meadow-green eyes and obsidian-black hair falling over his forehead like a veil to inserting his penis into his love interest's vagina may jar readers and break their immersion. Writers may opt for substitutions like "he entered her slick folds" or "his member filled her" because they're softer and less direct by comparison.

It can also relate to your intended audience. New Adult, for example, tends to feature characters 18-to-early-20s and is geared towards readers in that same demographic. Those scenes may be toned down for that slightly younger group compared to how they'd be written in an Adult romance. Similarly, a romance writer might approach the scene differently than an erotica author and find "cock" too explicit for comfort.

However, the euphemisms a writer uses need to be selected with a level of consideration, so how can you determine which ones make sense for your writing?

Grow Up!

Early on in middle school sex ed, our teacher had us shout out euphemisms for the body parts we'd be discussing, namely the breasts and genitals. There were some standouts like "disco stick" but most of the terms scribbled on the whiteboard were common like dick and vah-jay-jay. But there were also plenty of examples that sounded like they came out of a second grade classroom—and those are the ones you'll definitely want to avoid using in a book written for a mature audience.

Nothing sexy about putting a pee-pee into a hoo-ha...

Everybody's So Creative...

Sex scenes invite a level of creativity and exploration not always found when you're writing another kind of scene. Blending action and emotion is a tricky balance, and it's entirely impossible to go overboard—and lose your reader's attention in the process.

There is one erotic romance writer in particular whose work I ultimately DNFed because the euphemisms used were too distracting. Among the more expected cock and phallus were about thirty synonyms in fewer than a hundred pages, never the same twice and some that were just so out there it was just plain risible.

Once she called the love interest's erect penis a "John Handcock," I was done.

No matter what you're writing, repeating the same word over and over isn't ideal, and that can lead to some creative synonyms as we see with writers who hold hard and fast to "said is dead" and have characters like Slughorn ejaculating their dialogue or those who call their characters' eyes "orbs" because they already used "eyes" too recently.

Repetition isn't all bad, however. Sure, it gets tiring to see words like "small" again and again when perfectly fine alternatives like "little" or "tiny" are out there, but that quote-unquote rule doesn't always apply.

When it comes to your characters' nether regions, it may be wiser to pick two or three favorites and cycle through them as needed than getting too inventive.

Sign Of The Times

This will especially apply to writers of historical fiction.

Just as calling the penis a "disco stick" in that middle school health class was a product of 2009 pop culture, characters in historical settings have their own distinct euphemisms for sexual acts and the body parts involved.

Total tangent here but just take a moment to appreciate the product placement in this music video. Truly iconic.

Chances are a distinguished duke in the Victorian Era wouldn't be taking his lover to Pound Town, though he may perhaps enjoy a Melting Moment in Cock Alley.

Slang can be indicative of your story's time period, so making sure the euphemisms you're using are appropriate for the setting is just another way to create a believable and realistic experience for your readers.

Euphemisms are a seemingly inconsequential aspect of writing spice, but a poorly chosen one can break your reader's immersion and turn a steamy scene ice-cold. Keeping these tips in mind will help maintain momentum and heat without overdoing it.

What are your favorite euphemisms to use? What's the most ridiculous one you've seen in a book? Be sure to let me know down in the comments below!